Most marketing asks for something. Buy this. Book now. Get in touch. Request a quote. Download this. Follow us. Sign up.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. Ultimately, marketing is supposed to encourage action. But psychology suggests there’s something rather powerful about giving before you ask.
It’s called the principle of reciprocity, and it helps explain why useful advice, helpful content and small acts of generosity can be far more effective than constantly asking your audience to buy.
First, a can of Coke and some raffle tickets
One of the best-known experiments on reciprocity was carried out by psychologist Dennis Regan in 1971.
Participants were asked to take part in what they believed was an art appreciation experiment alongside another participant. That second participant was actually working with the researcher.
During a break, in some of the sessions, the other participant left the room and returned with two bottles of Coca-Cola, handing one to the real participant as an unsolicited favour. In other sessions, no drink was given.
Later, the same person asked participants whether they would buy raffle tickets from him.
The result was simple but striking: those who had previously received the drink were more likely to comply with the request and bought more raffle tickets.
What made the experiment particularly interesting was that Regan found the effect wasn’t simply about whether the participant liked the person asking. The favour itself appeared to create a feeling of obligation to return the gesture.
Regan described this in his 1971 paper, Effects of a Favor and Liking on Compliance, published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Obviously, we’re not suggesting you start handing cans of Coke to potential customers before chasing them down with an invoice. But the principle behind the experiment has some very useful implications for marketing.
The psychology behind reciprocity
Reciprocity is essentially our tendency to respond to one positive action with another.
If someone helps you move house, you’re more inclined to help them when they need it. If someone buys you a coffee, your instinct is often to think, “I’ll get the next one.” If someone shares genuinely useful information with you, you may be more willing to give them your attention, recommendation or business later.
Psychologist Robert Cialdini later made reciprocity one of his best-known principles of persuasion, describing the social expectation that we should give something back to people who have first provided something to us.
And Regan’s experiment wasn’t an isolated finding. Later research has continued to find links between receiving an unexpected favour and increased willingness to comply with a subsequent request. One field study involving more than 400 passers-by, for example, found that people were more willing to complete a survey after receiving a small unexpected favour.
So what does any of this have to do with Instagram?
Quite a lot, actually.
Stop asking for something in every post
One of the easiest traps for a business to fall into on social media is treating every piece of content like an advert.
If every post ends with “contact us today”, “book now”, “get your free quote” or “buy yours here”, it can start to feel relentless.
Imagine meeting someone in real life who behaved like that. You’d ask them how their weekend was and they’d reply, “Great thanks. Would you like a free quote?”
You’d probably avoid them at the next networking event.
Social media isn’t particularly different. Your audience is far more likely to build a relationship with your business when some of what you publish exists primarily to help, entertain, educate or inform them.
That is where reciprocity becomes useful.
Instead of asking, “What can we get from this post?”, a better question is often, “What can somebody get from this post?”
What can you actually give away?
Giving something away doesn’t necessarily mean discounts, freebies or physical products. For many businesses, the most valuable thing they can give is knowledge.
A fencing contractor could explain how to spot the early signs that a fence post is failing. An estate agent could explain the small changes that can make a property more appealing before photographs are taken. A rural business could give practical seasonal advice based on years of experience.
A photographer might share five simple things a business can do before a brand shoot to get better photographs, while a restaurant could show people how one of its dishes is prepared. A social media agency could explain why a Reel getting 900 views doesn’t necessarily mean it has “failed”.
That information costs the audience nothing, but it demonstrates something important: you know what you’re talking about.
And, crucially, you’ve started helping before they’ve spent a penny with you.
“But if I tell people how to do it, why would they hire me?”
This comes up all the time.
Businesses can be incredibly protective over knowledge because they worry that if they explain what they do, customers will simply go away and do it themselves.
Sometimes they will. Most won’t.
Knowing how something is done and having the time, confidence, equipment or expertise to do it properly are very different things.
I can watch a video explaining how to plaster a wall. That does not mean you should allow me anywhere near your living room with a bucket of plaster.
Giving somebody useful information demonstrates expertise. It doesn’t magically transfer years of experience into their brain.
In fact, teaching people why something matters can often make them appreciate the skill involved considerably more.
There is a difference between generosity and a tactic
This part matters.
Reciprocity shouldn’t become a case of giving someone something simply so they feel guilty enough to buy. Apart from being slightly grim, people are pretty good at spotting when generosity comes with strings attached.
There’s a big difference between saying, “Here’s something genuinely useful,” and saying, “Here’s your free guide, now please enjoy 47 emails asking whether you’re ready to jump on a discovery call.”
The strongest version of generous marketing is useful even if that person never becomes a customer.
That might sound counterintuitive, but that is really the point. If every helpful action immediately demands something in return, it stops feeling very generous.
Think beyond the free PDF
For years, digital marketing interpreted “give value first” as “make an ebook”.
There’s nothing wrong with downloadable guides, but reciprocity can happen on a much smaller scale.
It might be a 30-second video answering one question your customers constantly ask. It could be a carousel explaining something people regularly get wrong, a checklist people can screenshot, a genuinely useful recommendation or a quick tutorial.
It could also be a comparison that helps somebody make a decision, a behind-the-scenes video showing how something works, or simply taking a few minutes to answer somebody properly in the comments without immediately trying to turn them into a lead.
Useful doesn’t have to mean enormous.
Sometimes answering one very specific question is considerably more valuable than a 32-page “Ultimate Guide”.
Why this works so well on social media
Social media gives businesses an unusual opportunity because you can help someone months before they need you.
Someone might follow a landscape contractor because their videos are useful. They aren’t currently planning a garden project, so they don’t request a quote or join a mailing list. They simply keep seeing helpful content.
Then eight months later, they decide the garden needs completely redesigning.
Who comes to mind?
Potentially the company that has already spent eight months helping them understand gardens.
There was no hard sell. The relationship started before the buying decision did.
That is much closer to how people actually make decisions than the idea that somebody sees one promotional post on Tuesday and immediately spends £5,000 on Wednesday.
Give away the knowledge. Sell the expertise.
This is probably the simplest way to think about it.
You don’t need to hide everything you know behind a sales call. Show people that knowledge. Explain things. Answer questions. Challenge misconceptions. Teach them what to look for and help them avoid mistakes.
Because when the time eventually comes that they need somebody to actually do the work, there’s a good chance they’ll remember the business that has already been useful.
The 1971 Coke experiment wasn’t about Instagram, content marketing or lead generation. But the human behaviour sitting behind it hasn’t suddenly disappeared because we now carry tiny computers around in our pockets.
We still notice when somebody gives us something useful. We still respond to generosity.
And sometimes the best way to start selling is to stop trying to sell quite so hard.
The psychology: Reciprocity
The study: Dennis T. Regan, Effects of a Favor and Liking on Compliance, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 1971.
The marketing takeaway: Give people genuine value before asking them for something in return.
